Many years had passed since Chickenhawk married Doe. Chickenhawk had three children with Bear and two children with Doe. Bear was still bitterly jealous over Chickenhawks relationship with Doe. She tried everything she could to be okay with the relationship but she was never able to get over it. Chickenhawk did not hide the fact that he loved Doe more than Bear. He spent all of his time with Doe, leaving Bear to fend for all of the children herself.
The children loved Bear. She was the mother to all of them. Doe was not a nice person. Chickenhawk and Doe were horrible to the children and Bear was left to defend them. Bear loved the children. They all considered themselves to be hers. She was their mom. She had to be since Doe wanted nothing to do with them.
Once day, Bear and Doe were getting ready for dinner. Doe kept telling Bear about how much fun it was on her date with Chickenhawk, knowing fully well that Bear had not been invited on a date in years. Chickenhawk came home and told Bear to finish dinner herself, he wanted to spend time with Doe. Bear decided that this was all she could take. She was finished with them. Anger filled up inside of her and she decided that she had to get away. She needed to get the children and go. She knew that they would never let her leave with the children and this was a risk that she was not going to make.
When Bear prepared the dinner, she made Doe and Chickenhawk's extra special. She knew that they would not survive the meal. They all ate in silence. It was not long before Doe and Chickenhawk began feeling ill. It wasn't long after that before they died. Bear grabbed the children and they escaped from the house, never looking back. They were finally free.
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Bride by Abbott Handerson Thayer (1849–1921). Source: Wikimedia Commons |
Author's note: This story is based off of Bear-woman and Deer-woman. The original story is about a grizzly and doe that were both married to chickenhawk. They went to the creek and that is when grizzly kills doe and takes her head back to the house. She puts her head in the fire and doe's children notice that grizzly has killed their mother. They decide to take revenge and lure grizzly's children to a hollow log under the guise of playing a smoke-out game. The doe's children go first and then when it is the grizzly's children's turn, the doe's children kill them. They take them back and cook them to feed them to the grizzly. The grizzly realizes that she is eating her own children and goes after the fawns. The grizzly is killed when the grandfather tosses her into the creek. I changed the story in making both the characters into real people and having grizzly actually be really caring compared to doe. I wanted there to be a good reason why grizzly wanted doe gone and so I changed it from just jealousy to grizzly wanting to kill doe and chickenhawk so that she and the children could live happily.
Bibliography: This story is part of the Native American Marriage Tales unit.
Story source: Tales of the North American Indians by Stith Thompson (1929).
Hey Stevi!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story. I did not expect the ending at all. Reading the story, I had the perception that Bear was a nice but timid woman. I did not expect her to have the courage to actually poison her husband and the second wife. They did treat her pretty badly. They did not care about her or the kids. Good job Stevi!
Stevi- You really changed the story. Your version was extremely interesting if not basically completely different. It kind of reminded me of those stories of polygamists and what their wives go through as far as favorites and jealousy. I really liked that Bear bested both Doe and Chickenhawk and was able to rescue her children. I do not really understand your choice of picture, although it is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteHey Stevi! I really enjoyed this story! I like that you changed the characters into humans. That made it more relatable. One thing you could have done to make it more relatable was changing the names into actual people names. I love that chickenhawk saved herself and the children from an awful life with the other two. This was a fun read!
ReplyDeleteI really like your story! I don't think I could handle my husband having another wife either, especially since both of them were so selfish. After reading the synopsis of the original story you gave in the Author’s Notes, I really liked how you changed Bear’s personality and made her a “mama bear” which fits our conception of what a mother should be.
ReplyDeleteIn the paragraph that starts off "Once day" ... it should be "One day"
Also, I understand why you used a picture of a bride in the story and when I did a search for “Native American Bride”, this was the second one that showed up although I’m not sure why.
I really liked your story! I read the original and I like yours a lot better. I like how you gave Bear an actual reason to kill Doe. I found the original story to be very odd. Everybody was killing everybody for revenge and it was just really weird. But I like how you made Bear very caring and just wanted her to have a good life with her children. Good job!
ReplyDeleteGood story. I really like the different spin you put on it, compared to the original story. The original seemed super dark, especially since children not only killed others, but also cooked them. You developed Bear very well. I definitely felt for her and gave her the benefit of the doubt when she killed the other two. Your story kind of reminded me of an adult Disney movie. It was a fun interesting read.
ReplyDeleteHey Stevi, good story. Even though you did change a few things from the original I would never had guessed it unless I read you Author's notes so good job retelling this story in a manner that felt like an authentic folklore. I think you also did a good job of making Grizzly come across as a caring individual. Overall good job.
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